Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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