so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
