mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
