Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
