you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
