Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
