Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize