Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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