Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
