He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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