I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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