He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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