those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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