You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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