how do flat chested girls get laid?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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