you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
