Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
