Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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