I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
