Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize