I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
