I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
