One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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