one might say we're banned from that church
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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