How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
