You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
