I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
