we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
