your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
