Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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