dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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