you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
