i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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