lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mom said you looked used
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
