that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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