pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize