chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
