Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
