so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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