I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
