im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize