Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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