Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
