went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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