You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
