The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
