Will you blow on my dice?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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