YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
