Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
