I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
