i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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