I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
