What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
