i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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