Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
