I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
