my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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