i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
