Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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