Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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