ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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