It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When did angry sex become our thing?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Never joke about your clitoris.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
