I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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