question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
