People in love make me want to vomit
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
