my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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