Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
