well you can't waste a boner
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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