god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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