Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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