I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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