Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize