Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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