...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
